ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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