He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
