it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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