bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
