do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
