I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
