So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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