I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
