How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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