You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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