if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
