we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
