All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
