I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
