So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize