help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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