I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
