Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
