And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
