He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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