I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
