I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
