Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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