dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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