we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
