we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
