i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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