needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
