Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
