When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
