Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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