we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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