Christians are straight up FREAKS
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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