Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
