Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
