How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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