His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
