idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
