You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
