you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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