In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
