omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
