I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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