I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize