you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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