you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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