I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
