woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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