Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
