Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
