Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
