why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
