why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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