I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
being pregnant is like rehab
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
