This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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