I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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