Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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