My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
