Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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